True to himself
by Laurie-Lee
Summary: Ethan is finally being true to himself.... Worth the reading. One-shot fic with some changes in the GET storyline.


True to himself  
  
A/N: I don't own Passions. JER is. I simply use the characters and changed a little bit of the Gwen/Ethan/Theresa storyline.  
  
A/N 2: This story popped up in my head and I hope you're going to enjoy. Ethan in this story is portrayed by Travis. Couldn't stand if it would have been Eric.  
  
***  
  
A dark-blond haired man was standing in front of three graves, crying silently.  
  
"Why haven't I been true to myself? I cost three lives in less than a year."  
  
~ Flashback, Los Angeles, LA City Hospital~  
  
"I swear to you Ethan, I never meant anything to happen to Theresa or the baby."  
  
"Never meant anything to happen? God Gwen! You attacked her viciously and pushed her down the balcony. You knew Theresa was almost at the end of her pregnancy. You knew she had to stay in a stress-free environment because she didn't want to have pre-ecclampsia again." He was beyond angry and hurt. His baby girl, Sarah, was born a stillborn and the woman he loved more than life itself has died only minutes ago.  
  
"Look, I know you're angry but think about our baby." said Gwen.  
  
"Our baby? Gwen, I heard you talking with Rebecca tonight. You aren't pregnant and you never were. You lied to me, back in November, in order to stop me from marrying Theresa. And you still lied to me before Theresa went to Los Angeles about being pregnant again. It's over. Get away from me Gwen. I hope to don't see you back in Harmony after the funeral of my daughter and Theresa."  
  
~Harmony, tonight~  
  
"What the hell do you want Gwen?"  
  
"I needed to tell you how sorry I am."  
  
"No you aren't sorry Gwen. You are happy. Get away from me unless there anything is else you want reveal tonight."  
  
"Well, there's something else you need to know. My mother and I are the one responsible for the incident of the tabloid. We sent the letter to the tabloid from Theresa's computer."  
  
"Go away Gwen and never come back. I hate you so much that I think I would be able to kill you. Take this ring with you and give me back yours. It doesn't belong to your finger but to Theresa's. I am divorcing you and I won't give you a dime. You cost me my daughter and Theresa. Go to hell."  
  
~End of flashback~  
  
He approached the first grave and touched the stone slowly.  
  
"I am so sorry Ethan Martin. I wish I could go back in time and undo what I have done. I should have helped your mother into getting you back. But I was too selfish. I decided to let things happen, knowing perfectly well that Julian would destroy you completely. And he did. He left you all alone, thinking you were asleep, by the pool to go and play one of his disgusting games with Rebecca. But you weren't asleep and you drowned. I had seen you that night but I thought the nanny was getting you a formula and I continued my way to go to Gwen. I can't believe how stupid I was. If I would have stayed with you, you would still be alive. But I didn't and you're gone. Gone because of a stupid man. Gone because of your own father. I killed you Ethan Martin and I'm so sorry. I will never have the chance to tell you how much I was proud of you when you first called me "dada" or how much I loved you and your mother. I ruined this chance and I beg you to forgive me for what I've done. I love you my sweet little boy. May you be an angel and look after your mommy now. She needs it."  
  
Finishing his little speech, Ethan bend down and put a white rose at the bottom of the tombstone. He walked to the second grave and he started to sob louder.  
  
"Sarah, my little sweet baby girl. Not a day goes by without me thinking of you. You were so young and innocent. From the moment I held you in my arms, I knew I had made a terrible mistake into leaving your mother all alone during her pregnancy. I was mean and heartless to her. I so regret it. Things should have gone differently but being the idiot I am, I messed it up. There are decisions I've taken that I wish would have never existed. In that way, you would still be alive and well. But no. I had to ruin everything from the moment I chose to marry my wife. I've put your health and life in danger without a thought and now, it kills me to think about it. I'm responsible for your death and I fully assume it. I hope you are watching over mommy with Ethan Martin and enjoying his presence. I love you and I ask you to forgive me. I've been a total jerk and I swear that I will make it up to you. I will take my life back on track and settle things I should have done a long time ago. Daddy loves you Sarah."  
  
He put again a white rose at the bottom of his daughter's tombstone. Then he looked at the third grave and broke down in tears.  
  
"My sweet beloved. I loved you from the moment we met. I found you so beautiful and charming with your beautiful sparkling brown eyes. Your voice was enchanting and your scent was exquisite. We were happy together and things couldn't have been better. But it all crashed down before our wedding. Secrets were revealed and accusations were made. But we still went through this together and we were having the perfect life again until everything, I mean everything, started to go wrong. Another woman did everything she could to ruin our happiness and she succeeded. She tore us apart and lied to us both. She hid some terrible things from me. She participated to the plan that took our son from you. She cost us our baby girl...."  
  
Unable to speak anymore, Ethan sat down in front of the grave and slowly read the tombstone after putting a red rose down.  
  
*Tombstone carvings*  
  
Theresa Lopez-Fitzgerald  
  
Daughter of Pilar Lopez and Martin Fitzgerald  
  
1982-2003  
  
Beloved mother  
  
*End of tombstone carvings*  
  
"Why did I never see the light until it was too late? Why haven't I been true to myself and come back to you? Why did I deny loving you when I knew you were my first and only love?"  
  
He took his wallet and pick up the picture of Theresa with Ethan Martin. Her bulging stomach with Sarah in was obvious under her Hawaiian dress. It was the last picture Ethan Martin has ever been on. Two weeks before Mother's Day, Pilar had taken that picture and gave it to Ethan. A week later, Ethan Martin had drowned in the Crane Pool and his body had been discovered by a maid. Theresa had been devastated but Ethan had begged her to be strong for their unborn child. Of course, Gwen had been delighted by the death of the young boy. She loved everything that was hurting Theresa. At the boy's funeral, a secret had been revealed. Ethan Martin was Ethan's son. About a month later, Theresa had gone in vacation with Fox to let Gwen and him some space. Gwen had suffered a miscarriage in March but had gotten pregnant again. However this time, it wasn't true at all. She had faked it to keep Ethan and Theresa apart.  
  
"I should have listened to my heart. I so regret every single thing I did to hurt you. I also regret going to Los Angeles. If I had known you were in LA, I would have never brought Gwen there. I knew she was angry with you for being pregnant with my child but I never expected her to attack you and make you fall from the balcony..."  
  
Flashbacks of Gwen pushing a horrified Theresa down the apartment's balcony, the doctor announcing the death of their daughter and the funeral were coming back to him. His words died in the air and Ethan continued to cry. After a long moment, he calmed down.  
  
"I would give everything to bring you, Sarah and Ethan Martin back. I am responsible for your deaths and I hate myself for it. Theresa, I hope you can forgive me for everything I did wrong. I love you and I will always do. This is the ring you should have worn at the funeral."  
  
Ethan took the wedding ring Gwen had returned and buried it at the bottom of Theresa's tombstone.  
  
"I hope that you and our children watch over me and also wait at the gates of Heaven for my arrival. On day, I will join you and with Sarah and Ethan Martin, we will be a real family."  
  
As soon as Ethan stood up, all the guilt he had felt for his loved one's deaths vanished. At that instant, he knew that his son, daughter and love of his life had forgiven him. He smiled and walked back to his car. Twenty minutes later, his car was crashing on a tree and he was nearly dying. Looking up to the sky, he smiled. He could see Theresa, Sarah and Ethan Martin waiting for him. A loud voice spoke up.  
  
"You have been true to yourself. You may enter now and be with your family." With that, Ethan walked to his family and they disappeared behind the gates of Heaven.  
  
***  
  
What did you think? R&R please! 


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